October 16, 2007

Am I ready?

Can you ever really be 100% ready to have a child? This is what I ask myself. I don't think anyone can ever really be ready, in every sense of the word, when it comes to bringing another life into the world. Excited? Yes. Very. I only have days until the expected date my baby will be born and I am ecstatic! I cannot wait to hold his warm little soft, cuddly body next to mine. Labor, on the other hand, is not an exciting thing for me. All the unknowns just freak me right out (I am a planner). But you know what? Even planner-types like me cannot plan everything. I just have to trust God. Yesterday I was starting to feel overwhelmed with a few things and I was pretty emotional (I could cry at the drop of a hat). My wonderful husband (who always knows what to say in the right moment) reminded me that it probably is a good idea to just trust God to work out the details. I do understand (and so does my husband) that there is a place/time for planning and having things in order - I mean, God did, after all, give us brains and the ability to do some things - but sometimes you just gotta let go. Let go of the fear. Give up the need to have everything "under control". So, that's what I'm doing. I'm gonna keep working away on the things that need to be done before labor and trust that everything will work out. And it will. So, in that sense, am I ready for this? In myself, not really. But with God, I am ready for anything...even the unexpected.

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