December 22, 2008

Overwhelmed

Today I feel overwhelmed. Not by life and circumstances, but by God's grace. My heart feels so full that it might possibly come out of my chest, and my eyes well with tears as I write this. There was a time in my life when all the guilt and fear I dealt with drove me further away from God. I knew He was there, but I felt so awful for not trusting Him in those times, that I would just pull away. My relationship with Him was up and down, inconsistent and dependent entirely on me and how strong my love for Him was in the moment.
Now I realize that knowing God is about knowing and accepting how much He loves me, not how much "love" I can conjure up in my unstable, human emotions.
God is not looking down on us with negative feelings...He is always accepting and loving and forgiving. He is not condescending. He thinks nothing bad about us. His love for us goes beyond human love. It is much deeper. It cannot possibly be explained in human terms - it can only be experienced.
Opportunities for fear come all the time just simply because of the world we are a part of. But when we are afraid, I know that God is standing even closer with his arms outstretched. We can run to him like a child runs to her father, throwing everything into His arms.
In this world of uncertainty, isn't is refreshing to know that there really is something firm and stable we can hold on to? And yet the simplicity of Jesus and all He's provided for us is so hard for many to grasp.
I pray that today you would have your eyes opened to the truth of Jesus and that your heart would be softened towards Him. I pray that you would experience, for yourself, exactly this Love that I'm talking about and feel so overwhelmed with today.

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