June 22, 2010

20 things you should never, ever, ever say to a pregnant woman...

On behalf of all pregnant women out there, I'm going to speak out and let all you non-pregos in on a little secret. The secret is, that there are lots of things you should never ever voice out loud within 10 feet of a pregnant woman. Trust me, I'm trying to help you. ;) We know you mean well. Really, we do. But please, keep your comments to yourself.
So, here's a little guideline for you to follow - a few statements you should probably avoid when talking to a pregnant woman (and my comments in brackets):

20. "I can't believe you let anyone take a picture of you that big."

19. "Mind if I rub your belly for good luck? (while rubbing belly anyway)"

18. "That's amazing. You DO look pregnant from the back."

17. "Are you married?"

16. "My friend is due before you are and she looks a lot smaller than you do."

15. "You just look like you're about to BURST!"
(ugh. seriously? why do you need to say that?)

14. "You shouldn't eat/drink that!"

13. "Are you sure you are ready for this? It's going to take a lot of work and time." (duh)

12. "Was it planned?" (is that even your business?)

11. "You haven't had the baby YET?"
(to this, I would say, "actually, I'm having him RIGHT NOW! CATCH!")

10. "Wow, you really are huge." (isn't this an obvious no-no?)

9. "Are you sure you're not having twins?" (I've gotten this comment MANY times!)

8. "Your belly is a really funny shape."

7. "You're almost ready to go, aren't you?" (please ask their due date first, because you could be WAY off)

6. "You're fat." (heard it with my own ears, folks)

5. "I see you're starting to waddle."

4. "You're retaining water, aren't you?"

3. "You look tired."
(just don't say this to anyone...ever)

2. "Wow. You just keep popping them out, don't ya?"

...and the number one thing you should never say...this time to a woman who has just given birth days previous...

1. "Is this your new baby (glancing at tiny new baby)? And you have another one on the way (glancing at new mom's still puffy tummy)!? You're FAST!!" (yes, someone said this to me just a week after I gave birth to my daughter...and they were completely serious)

So, I hope this has been an informative post for you all. Print it out. Email it. Print it on a t-shirt and wear it (I've actually thought of doing that). Create a link and post it on your facebook/twitter/myspace. Just do your part to make the world a better place for pregnant women and non-pregos alike.

And if you're someone who has ignorantly made any of these statements, don't feel bad. I'm just having a little fun. :) Hope this gave you a chuckle or two.

And if you really don't know what to say to a pregnant woman, say, "I'm really happy for you."

Oh...and, maybe something like this would work on a t-shirt?


Anonymous said...

Love it.....especially the shirt!!!! In laws awkwardly touching my belly......including aunts would make me go through the roof!!!!

Marisca said...

haha. This is so funny, and True!! Thankfully I'm surrounded by mostly polite people, though I have had the twins one, as well as a form of the #1.. however, it was a couple of months after, and she is such a sweet lady, that I had to excuse her. The worst for me was when a fellow (who looks like he's 9 months pregnant!!) asked me when I was due, and I had never been pregnant yet. Oh, and I want that t-shirt. haha!

linda @ CraftaholicsAnonymous said...

Being currently preggers, THANK YOU for posting this!! I've had several of these said to me multiple times. ugh!!

Jennwith4 said...

Oh how I needed that tshirt when I was pregnant! lol People seem to think that just because you're pregnant they have the right to invade your personal space.