Realisation

I have been learning alot about God's grace (undeserved favor) these days. Grace and how uncomplicated the gospel of Jesus really is. My human brain tells me I need to "figure things out" or "try harder" in order to make things make sense. But the real truth is that life does not make sense sometimes. Circumstances do not make sense. This natural realm does not always make sense. Um...do you see a pattern here? If we could all just stand back we would see the big flashing arrows pointing us to something greater...something that does make sense: Jesus.
A few months ago I found myself "naturally" leaning back towards my own strength and ability to succeed in this life and it was quite discouraging. At that point I decided I needed a "role model" - you know, some other person I could look up to. Maybe a mentor. Someone who had already been where I was - perhaps an older woman. But, then she would have her own issues to deal with, how could she help with mine? A deep longing stirred inside and I thought to myself constantly, "if only I had someone to look to". I had a long talk with my husband about this and it wasn't until I said that phrase out loud that I saw the irony. "If only I had someone to look to"...and it clicked. There is someone I can look to. Someone who walked this earth, experienced life, and had human thoughts and feelings. Someone who willingly became human because he knew someone like me would need a role model one day. The thing is, this "role model" never once failed. His humanity was definitely not his ruler. He actually rose above the natural - so much so, that he defeated death itself. This perfect Example never bowed in the face of sickness, but healed ALL the sick who were near him (Matthew 8:16). This person is Jesus.

Humans are hard-wired with a desire to know God. But not only a desire, a need. And trusting in anything (self) but God will never produce 100% success in life (spiritual, emotional, mental, physical). I am convinced of that.